8 months of training finally came to this, 1500 meters of swimming, 40km of biking and 10km of running.

And I was as ready as I was ever going to be.

The race started at 8:05, and I was in Santa Cruz at 6:30 so that I would have all the time in the world to prepare. And boy did I.

First there was the obligatory laying out of the equipment for transition in a desperate attempt to put things just so…

After trying to figure out how to balance my helmet on my conventional handle bars, I now know why triathletes have aero bars. It is not to go faster, it is for faster transition times. I had to clip my helmet to my bike, they can just place their helmet on their aero bars.

The equipment placed, just so, I turned to the fetish suit.

Once again, I had to do my best impersonation of a character from Downton Abbey, and get help to put on my fetish suit because apparently I can’t seem to get the zipper up…

Dressed, and with no where to go, I started to wonder around… Folks recognized that noob look and told me that everything was going to be fine… Realizing that there is so much noobness I can tolerate, the fetish suit and I moved to the beach.

At the beach the noobs were busy doing their warm ups.I know they were the noobs because they were folks I met from the transition clinic… I mean, seriously, we were there 45 minutes before the race started getting our suits wet, and our bodies warmed up… Anxious, a little..

The race started in waves. First were the pro’s who carefully lined up against the starting line and ran to the sea as fast as their lithe and superbly trained bodies could take them. Then there was the under 40 crowd which anxiously waited for the starting signal to begin, desperate to get a good line into the water… And they looked fit and young and great. And then finally the over 40 set, which did not look fit and lithe but older and fatter … and we all stood as far away from the starting line as possible, hoping someone else would set the pace so we could draft…

Meanwhile …

The night before the race my coach had given me all sorts of information about how fast and how hard I should go. And I had memorized all these details about pace, heart rate, etc… Carefully, and very deliberately I set my Garmin GPS 910xt up, verified it was secure on my arm, and hit go when the race began…

And we were off to the races. Good thing I had done my warm up because I was able to go into a steady rhythm to begin with. Unfortunately it took me about the 700m before I felt my body was moving as well as I would like in the water.

In the first 700m, I had the usual triathlon experience of kicks to the arms, kicks to the head, swats to my legs, fortunately no full on submersion… but I was ready for it, and able to power through.

At some point, I got clear of most of my group. I was reasonably convinced the reason was that I had been dropped. After all I am a slow person, and had every expectation to get dropped. There was a plan, however, and after the Napa Marathon, I was sticking to the plan. The plan called for me to go at a comfortable pace, and I was going at a comfortable pace. And I knew from my experience in the pool, that my comfortable pace was good enough to get a reasonable time…

During the swim I started to catch up to some of the stragglers of the under 40 crowd. Now before I sound too impressed with myself, that group included some folks who were doing the breast stroke…

Finally after what felt like an eternity, I reached the end of the swim. As I climbed out of the water, I reached to tap my Garmin and touched air.

WHAT THE ….

Turns out that the kicking and pushing had caused the Garmin to dislodge from the quick release position and to get lost in the water.

Now here I was, with a plan, and no way to measure success or failure. Fortunately, I had my backup watch because I am that geek…

Calmly, and somewhat annoyed, I ran to transition, again fully expecting to see rows of empty racks and discovered that all the bikes were there. It turns out I had done a pretty fast time coming in 56 out of a field of 201… In my age group, my time for the swim was third best. Still very confused, and wondering if I had forgotten to do a lap, I changed into the bike gear and got going.

Well, not exactly. More like got on my bike and fell down because I am that triathlete.

It was a hill.

The nice volunteers helped me back on my bike, and sent me on my merry way… And merry it was: 4 loops of approximately 6 miles to finish the 40km bike ride.

With no way to measure progress but a watch, no way to measure cadence, no heart rate monitor, nada, I started out biking. My thoughts were, well if Thomas Voeckler could win a stage with nothing but his body, then I could do okay in a bike ride…

Actually what I really thought was that the spirit of Laurent Jalabert had decided that I was too infatuated with technology and needed to rely on my instincts… Laurent had won two Combatitivity awards  on the tour, and he always impressed me with his devil may care attitude. I was convince that Laurent, being French, had decided to teach me a lesson about the need to attack the race without hiding behind machines… Now why he had to teach me a lesson and cost me a shit-load of money to replace my GPS… well he’s French I reasoned…

Except that’s not true either. What really happened was the Star Wars geek in me was thinking he is Luke Skywalker in the Death Star trench, hearing Obi-Wan to trust his feelings.

But because George Lucas destroyed the Franchise,

my brain re-enacted the story with characters that were less likely to offend… That would make Laurent – Obi-Wan Laurent, and Thomas – Yoda Thomas… And I guess it would make my coach General Jan Dodonna (the guy who gave the commands for the attack on the Death Star)

Hanging out with Princess Leia after Luke announces that he has disarmed the tracking system…

With no GPS, no heart rate monitor, no cadence monitor, I pushed on. And man did I push. After my first loop I was going at a 20mph pace which is astonishing given that I have never gone that fast. My thinking was that I would probably slow down after the second lap. But I didn’t. And then the third, and I didn’t again. And then it was going to be the fourth, the fourth was when I would slow down… but no… So the run, the run was where I was going to pay for all of my Combativity…

So why did I go so fast? Part of it was just listening to my body instead of a stupid piece of electronics. Another part was posture. Unable to stare at the little gadget in front of me, I stretched out onto the bike and just pedaled fast and that helped.

During the bike ride, many, many people passed me. And unlike cyclists who feel compelled to make you feel like dirt when they pass you on the road, triathletes were so nice telling me good job, and congratulating me on my effort… Not sure which I find more irritating. I’ll go with the cyclists and assume the triathletes are sincere… Given my background in cycling, it took me a while to master the sincere good job as you passed someone…

As the bike ride ran to its final conclusion, the 10k run loomed ahead. And here was where I was going to pay for my crimes … I knew I was going to go slow… And it was frustrating because I was at that point in time on a great pace and could finish under three hours if my run was just OKAY.

But Obi-Wan Laurent and Yoda Thomas weren’t done with me quite yet. No they were not. Attack said Obi-Wan Laurent, so I attacked. And before I knew it, I was on a great pace. Checking in infrequently, at the 2.5km mark and the 5km mark my pace was really good. I was running at about 10 minute miles. And then Obi-Wan Laurent said, we attack. And so I did. Whereas the first 5km took me 30 minutes (~6 mph), the next 5km took me 27 minutes (~7 mph). In fact, my pace was so good, that towards the end I chilled out realizing that I had set my own personal best and I was unlikely to beat anyone at the finish line…

And that is where my Jedi Masters took over…

Yoda Thomas: Can your body handle another sprint?

Me:  Well the gadgets tell me otherwise…

Yoda Thomas: Kostadis there is no try…

My: The gadgets…

Obi-Wan Laurent: Merde, can you just trust your feelings – this stupid re-enactment of classic film is offending me… What did I do to get stuck in your stupid fantasy, eh?

And so I attacked with a blistering sprint … If I was a cyclist, I would say that I dropped the dude that was running with me and beat some other dude at the finish line who had dropped me earlier. I suppose the triathlete in me should say: There was this nice guy that I was chatting with over the last mile, who suggested we sprint to the finish, so I wished him good luck, and then took off, and in the process caught up to another athlete who had wished me good luck earlier…

Done with the race, I looked at my watch and was stunned to see what I had accomplished. I had finished my first Olympic Triathlon in 2:48. My bike ride was the fastest I had ever been on two wheels in my life. My run was not the fastest run I had ever done, but certainly the fastest I had ever done after that much exercise, and the first time I had ever had a negative split!

And yes, the first person I told was my coach, and then my wife…

What my wife and I were both surprised with was how effective the training was. Having watched me self train for the Athens Marathon, and train for the death ride, there was a low expectation on what training could do for me. After all, I am the guy who finishes in the bottom 5% of any sporting event. Heck if there were only four people in a race, I still would finish in the bottom 5%… We both were very confused about what all of this training was hoping to accomplish…

And yet this training had pushed me all the way into the median performer across all age groups and in 12th out of 20 for my age group! And my time, was … well … cough-cough… respectable…

And so as I stand in shock about my accomplishment, I am reminded of Obi-Wan Laurent, who said: Merde, I am not doing this stupid imaginary movie re-enactment… This is beyond silly…

Um… maybe not Obi-Wan Laurent, maybe Obi-Wan Kenobi who said: May the Force be with you always!

One final addendum…

And the timings were: