I’ve been not losing weight recently. And I, as is tradition, invented many interesting theories about my weight loss. Many interesting theories that explained how the Laws of Thermodynamics and my weight problems were fundamentally unrelated.

Those guys who invent fanciful fusion machines were all people who had weight problems. The laws of physics don’t apply to how people gain or lose weight and therefore certainly don’t apply to how Fusion may work. If Cold Fusion is possible, then losing weight unconstrained by Thermodynamics should be possible…

Except. Except. Except – Fusion is not possible.

Here you can see how many steps I took as measured by my new iPhone 6+

Here you can see my weight more or less track my activity.

As my activity increases, my weight drops and as my activity decreases my weight increases.

Big Data once again bursts my delusional bubble.

What to do… What to do?

No more big data. Enough already. I want my delusions.